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Do I need Help?

Confidential 24 Hour Hotline/information call: 330-453-SAFE (7233)

UNDERSTANDING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

ARE YOU IN AN ABUSIVE AND POTENTIALLY VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP?

Answering the following questions will help the person already in a relationship in determining if it is an abusive one or becoming abusive. 

Red Flags of Abuse for Teens

Dating abuse is just as common a problem as domestic abuse – and it can be just as hurtful and destructive.

Like domestic abuse, dating abuse is a pattern of hurtful behavior that someone uses to try to control their partner -- boyfriend or girlfriend – where he or she goes, what she does, who she sees, what she wears. You get the idea.

It isn't always physical either. Abuse can be verbal, emotional, or sexual.

If your boyfriend constantly puts you down or criticizes your clothes or comments – or forces you to do things you don't want to do sexually -- that's abusive.

Is someone abusing you? Take a look at these "red flags" and see what you think.

Does your boyfriend – or girlfriend...

  1. Act in ways that scare you?
  2. Get angry or jealous when you talk to – or want to do things with – other people?
  3. Put you down, call you names, or criticize you?
  4. Try to control where you go, what you wear, or what you do?
  5. Constantly call or text you?
  6. Blame you if he hurts you or your feelings?
  7. Threaten to hurt you or himself if you break up with him?
  8. Constantly accuse you of flirting or cheating on him?
  9. Try to force you to have sex – or do sexual things – you're not comfortable doing?
  10. Hit, slap, push, kick or restrain you?

If you answered "yes" to even one of these questions, chances are you're dealing with abuse.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Does your partner…

___embarrass you in front of people?
___belittle your accomplishments?
___make you feel unworthy?
___constantly contradict himself to confuse you?
___do things for which you are constantly making excuses to others or yourself?
___isolate you from many of the people you care most about?
___make you feel ashamed a lot of the time?
___make you believe he/she is smarter than you are and therefore, more able to make decisions
___make you feel that it is you who is crazy?
___make you perform acts that are demeaning to you?
___use intimidation to make you do what he/she wants?
___prevent you from going or doing commonplace activities such as shopping, visiting friends and family, and talking to the opposite sex?
___control the financial aspects of your life?
___use money as a way of controlling you?
___make you believe you cannot exist without him/her?
___make you feel that there is no way out and that you made your bed and must lie in it?
___make you find ways of compromising your feelings for the sake of peace?
___not believe that he/she hurt you or feel sorry for what he/she has done?

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Does your partner…

___treat you roughly – grab, pinch, push or shove you?
___threaten you – verbally or with a weapon?
___hold you to keep you from leaving after an argument?
___lose control when he/she is drunk or using drugs?
___get extremely angry, frequently without an apparent cause?
___escalate his/her anger into violence – slapping, kicking, etc.?
___physically force you to do what you do not want to do?

SEXUAL ABUSE

Does your partner…

___make you do sexual things against your will?
___physically attack the sexual parts of your body, and/or treating you like a sex object?
___touch you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable?
___withhold affection and appreciation to punish you?

Do you…

___believe that you can help your partner change the abusive behavior if you were only to change yourself in some way, if you only did something differently, if you really loved him/her?
___find that not making him/her angry has become a major part of your life?
___do what he/she wants you to do rather than what you want to do out of fear?
___stay with him/her only because you’re afraid he/she might hurt you if you tell?

If you said “yes” to many of the above questions, you have identified an abusive relationship and need to seek help and advice.

DATING QUESTIONS FOR TEENS

Does the person you date:

  1. Act like he/she owns you?
  2. Constantly grab, pinch, shove, trip, bite, kick, or hit you?
  3. Blow off your feelings?
  4. Withhold affection and appreciation to punish you?
  5. Shout at you or call you names?
  6. Continually criticize you or put down your accomplishments and goals?
  7. Make your decisions for you?
  8. Embarrass you in front of others?
  9. Blame you for his/her moods or abusiveness?
  10. Drive recklessly when you are together?
  11. Isolate you from your friends and family?
  12. Call you constantly to check up on you?
  13. Force you to stay after a fight or abandon you?
  14. Make you feel “trapped” in the relationship?
  15. Touch you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable?
  16. Force you to have sex against your will?
  17. Accuse you of having sex with others or cheating?
  18. Sweet-talk or badger you to have sex and prove your love?
  19. Use sex to resolve fights or apologize for violence?
  20. Threaten to commit suicide if you leave the relationship?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.

For Shelter Assistance Call
DVP Inc 24-Hour Hotline 330-453-SAFE (7233)